Detox Teas: Bolemia in a package?

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May 29, 2017
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May 29, 2017

Detox Teas: Bolemia in a package?

I normally spend no time—zero, nada, zilch, buptkus, none—paying attention to what the various Kardashians & Co. do.  I really couldn’t care less—and I mean that literally; it would be impossible for me to care less.  So this isn’t really about them.

(Side bar: what did they do to become famous, anyway?  I’ve never been able to figure that out.)

However, on the Fox news website, I saw an article about “Detox teas” plugged by Kylie Jenner (now, which one is she?), and how they may cause pregnancy.  I think I initially read the article because I was under the impression that only one thing caused pregnancy, so I was curious about a tea that could accomplish the same thing.  Turns out it doesn’t cause pregnancy, it just makes it more likely that birth control pills won’t be effective.  Oh, o.k.  That explains it.

But here’s the deal: apparently these teas (Flat Tummy Teas?) don’t really “detox” you, in the sense of passing through your system and cleansing it from toxins—or fat—or whatever, like fuel injector cleaner would do for your car.  Instead, these teas apparently just make you throw up.  That’s it.  You barf.  Hurl.  Yawn in technicolor.  Or, you get diarrhea.  “Bootea and Flat Tummy Tea, two popular detox tea brands, contain senna leaf, which can cause diarrhea or vomiting.” That’s why the birth control pills may not work—if you throw it up, it may not get absorbed into your system, and thus be useless. According to some gynecologist, “If a woman vomits within two hours of taking the contraceptive pill, it may not have been fully absorbed into her bloodstream so she should take another pill straight away.”

So, sure, you’ll lose weight, because you won’t take in any nourishment, and your body will start cannibalizing itself, first with fat, then with muscle.  But here’s what struck me:  We used to call somebody who ate, and then threw up what they ate, bolemic.  Bolemia, like anorexia, used to be considered a sickness.  It frequently required rehab—often inpatient—to cure.  I have had friends and colleagues who had daughters with anorexia and bolemia, and they had to live through nightmarish circumstances, sometimes wondering if their child was going to kill herself from lack of nutrition.

And now the Kardashian clan is promoting this?  I can’t say I’m surprised at that, but I am distressed that our culture has gotten to the point that we see bolemia as normal, and are marketing it.

In other news, nearly 20 million people in Nigeria, Somalia, Sudan and Yemen are at risk of starving to death.

Scott Gosnell founded Pros and Cons in 2003. He also has a day job as a practicing attorney in Birmingham, Alabama, which explains his complete irresponsibility with regards to his blogging schedule. In a former life he worked in several churches as a youth minister, where he was forced to do unspeakable things like chew ABC gum (Already Been Chewed), bob for liver (uncooked), and participate in condiment wrestling. Hey, would you look at that – I guess they are speakable. In addition to the practice of law, Scott is a certified law enforcement officer with the Jefferson County Sheriff's Office and the Alabama Historical Ironworks Commission, and a tactical firearms instructor. Scott and his wife, Donna, have three children, Caleb, Hannah Beth, and Austin. He also has a dog named Sierra and a cell phone named Curtis.

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